It’s been 2 months since I’ve written one of these email newsletters. A lot has happened. More than I could remember – some of it would make a highlight reel, some would probably make a gag reel, but I think most of it would be cut on the floor of the editing room in order to make this film not be rated R.
It’s been a rough couple of months, truthfully. I haven’t felt like writing these emails. I’ve been busy writing marketing material for the RabbitMQ For Developers product launch I just did. I’ve been stressed about problems with SignalLeaf and getting WatchMeCode fixed up in some places. I’ve put in a lot of work on my client projects, and everything else. And I announced the shut down of SignalLeaf a little over a week ago.
All of this – the good and bad – has been incredibly stressful. Writing the marketing emails for the product launch is horribly painful for me. But apparently I did well. I sold a record $ for a product launch for me, bringing in more than $6,500. But it was stressful, and it was right in the middle of this that I decided to shut down SignalLeaf.
Making the decision was bad enough. If you’re not listening to Entreprogrammers, check out episode 69. You can hear the stress in my voice, and the anger and frustration when I make the final call to kill it.
It really hit me a few days ago, that I was shutting things down forever with SignalLeaf. Sure, I had written the blog post and talked about it on the podcast, and announced it to my customers. But just this last weekend, I recorded a short screencast where I showed people how to migrate from SignalLeaf over to another hosting provider. And to do this, I didn’t use some random demo account and podcast. I migrated my actual podcast, the Entreprogrammers, over to Libsyn.com – live migration, recorded for all the world to see. I stopped using my own service, on camera, in favor of someone else’s service.
And I could barely handle it, after that. I nearly shut down, personally, as well as professionally that afternoon. I took a nap. I ignored my computer. I couldn’t bring myself to do the things that I needed to do that day, because it was too much for me to deal with. It makes me incredibly sad, right now, talk about this and relive the experience of recording and uploading that screencast.
The Right Decision
I don’t like shutting down SignalLeaf. In spite of the stress and expense that it has caused me in the last few years, I didn’t want to do it. But I did it anyways, because it was the right thing to do… for me, and for my customers. I was never able to make time to work on SignalLeaf the way I needed to. I couldn’t finish features I started. I couldn’t support people the way I told them I would. I was leading people on, while panicking about doing exactly that.
Closing SignalLeaf was the most difficult decision I’ve had to make, in a very long time… and, yet …
The Little Smile
For the last 2+ years, I’ve battled with time management. I’ve always been stressed and worried about one product or service while working on the other. Every moment that I put into WatchMeCode felt like a betrayal of my customers and service at SignalLeaf. Every time I planned work for WatchMeCode, I would panic knowing that I was putting off SignalLeaf work once again.
This last Sunday was no different. I was thinking about WatchMeCode work, and I was panicked. I was ignoring… but, I just shut down SignalLeaf, didn’t I? I… I don’t have to worry about it anymore? I don’t have to panic about ignoring it in favor of WatchMeCode? … The realization of exactly what I was doing, why I was doing it, and the reality that I now find myself within – it was a burden lifted from my shoulders.
And for the first time in I can’t remember how long, I smiled a little at the thought of spending all of Monday working on WatchMeCode.